Cold
by Genkai Lady
Summary: Nuriko and Hotohori desperately struggle with their relationship. What will happen?
1. Prelude to the Prologue’s End

Author's Note: I saw there weren't too many of these on the Internet, so I decided that I'd be a charitable person! I was listening to Pink's song "My Vietnam" (which is a PERFECT song for Nuriko, by the way) when I wrote this, so ignore the cheesiness and slow pace. Ah- and I know some people haven't read or seen up to where the Seishi go into Genbu country, but just know it's cold there. There is a lemon version of this, but it's for my own and my friends enjoyment, but if you REALLY want it, e-mail me for it. However, I think in this particular case it makes the fic better to make the emotions more focused rather than the sex.  
  
Warnings- deals with Yaoi (male/male sexual relationships) and spoilers  
  
Disclaimer- Don't own anything but the sappy tidbits of (rather nonexistent) plot. Well, maybe I don't own Nuriko... but as for Hotohori... lol.  
  
Cold  
  
Chapter 1- Prelude to the Prologue's End  
  
It was quiet. Nuriko had wanted it that way on purpose, and had left the noisy dining hall where Miaka was attempting to calm Tamahome down after Tasuki had slipped some strange black magic medicine called Exlax into his sushi.  
  
'I remember the stars were bright the night I made Miaka find that "earring" for me...'  
  
Nuriko sighed and tried to asses the memories and feelings that left someone wondering... And yet, it felt good to be gazing at the stars. There was a slight swishing as someone came up from behind and a stately clearing of the throat signified who it was.  
  
"Oh your Highness!" gushed Nuriko as the Emperor shuffled (A/N: like he can do anything else in those horrid duck shoes of his!) to the side of the balcony overlooking the royal gardens and ponds. There was silence. More silence... But it wasn't the peaceful kind like before, it was strong and carried an intense and masculine air to it. Not that Nuriko was truly bothered by it, but just trying to talk to Hotohori made a headache come on.  
  
"Well, I guess I'd better be going inside, we wouldn't want Tamahome and Tasuki to get to out of hand! Ha ha... ha..." Nuriko's offhand laughter was met with stern silence.  
  
"Nuriko, I believe you are perfectly aware that everyone has now retired to their rooms." said Hotohori firmly as he stepped closer to Nuriko...  
  
'Beautiful.' his mind whispered softly... 'Stop that.' he chided himself. 'You know the situation you are in, and it will not change.' The silence turned tense and painful.  
  
"Nuriko..." Hotohori started, but was cut off because his voice wouldn't come, and Nuriko had tears spilling down, glistening like the pearl earrings that Nuriko liked to wear in his presence.  
  
"Stop. You don't need to say this." choked out Nuriko as the delicate Seishi tried to pass Hotohori.  
  
~  
  
"Kang Lin-sama, let's go back, if somebody finds you here, you'll be scolded...."  
  
"That's the Suzaku no Miko that everyone's been talking about..."  
  
"Y- yes."  
  
"Although she's not a princess, she's close to the emperor...  
  
~  
  
"You're right. There is to be no reasoning with you. I am sorry." It had been coldly and unfeelingly said. Nuriko had rehearsed what to say in this situation at least a hundred, no, a thousand times- flash a quick and understanding smile, and cheerfully go find something mindless to do. Not now... A conversation between faceless relatives lingered...  
  
~  
  
"It's sweet they're so close, but really. He gets so angry whenever something doesn't go Kang Lin's way."  
  
"Anger is a powerful thing, but it makes me wonder what he will do when the time comes for him to be jealous of the suitor's Kang Lin will have."  
  
"Jealously can be even worse than poison! Why, remember my cousin Suong- ho? I still remember when his wife ran away with that horse trader and he went mad and drowned himself 3 days later..."  
  
~  
  
'The memory fades...'  
  
"What? That's all? I don't even deserve a raised voice or even a contemptuous glance? I guess it doesn't bother you that you know what I feel, what I go through- I can see it! The way you look at Miaka and watch her from afar because you'll never be close! EVER! She pushes you away! CAN YOU TELL ME YOU LIKE HOW IT FEELS?" Nervousness enclosed Nuriko, and sweat was working its way towards the usually perfect purple bangs. The front of the kimono fell slightly open, revealing Nuriko's icy pale chest was heaving from anger and mental injury. Hotohori inwardly smiled. He expected Nuriko to try and feign a way out, meanwhile Nuriko had surprised him by bursting out instead. His musing were interrupted when the jolt of a twisted and tormenting memory was reawakened.  
  
"REMEMBER OUR FIRST TIME, HOTOHORI-SAMA?" spat Nuriko in a furiously mocking manner. "When your precious Miaka was all alone and the good Highnesses offers of kindness were rejected? You came to me! Oh wasn't I the pretty little obedient one. I made you forget everything! Oh wait- I'm just a plaything! Fine! If you hate me so much, get rid of me! Tell me to leave!" Futile attempts...  
  
"Do not be rash. You are an important member to this kingdom. We could not summon Suzaku without you."  
  
'Cold...'  
  


* * *

  
"Cold... my hands are cold..." Someone was talking. Who? "...I think we should stop for some hot chocolate! I brought some with me! My brother gets something from the store called Suiisu Miisu! It's good! Oh! And we can get some tasty buns too! Are there any bakeries around here?"  
  
'Miaka.'  
  
Nuriko cringed silently. As much as Miaka was considered a dear friend, it was hard to forget Hotohori's mad obsession with her. Miaka once mentioned how it was like something she'd read in a book called Gone With the Wind. Some guy named Rhett Waitress or something was in love with someone who wasn't in love with him but someone else was in love with him. Painful reality...  
  
"NUUUUURRRRRRRRIIIIIIIKKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" pierced the air. "WAKE UP!!! WE HAVE TO GO SEARCH FOR THE BENTO COW!!!"  
  
"It's Shentso-Pao, Miaka! No wonder you're failing all your classes, dummy."  
  
"Oh Tamahome!"  
  
"Miaka!"  
  
"Tamahome!!"  
  
"Miaka!!"  
  
"TaMaHoMe!!!"  
  
"MiAkA!!!"  
  
"TAMAHOME!!!"  
  
"MAIKA!!!"  
  
"TAMAH- OOF!" Miaka doubled over as a certain someone chucked a saddle bag at her head.  
  
"We don't have time for this! The horses are freezing and can't keep going without some proper warmth! We told Hotohori-sama that... that..." Nuriko stopped. The memory of Hotohori hurt. Grimacing, the lecture must go on. "That we'd be back in 14 days! It's been 3 already! Get your butt in gear and let's go!"  
  
"She seems to be up and at 'em this morning." Tamahome lightly commented to Miaka. Miaka smiled, tragically oblivious to everything except the Pocky she had stashed in her saddlebag. Selective feelings...  
  
****** 


	2. Amidst Collections of Recollections

Author's Note: I originally didn't want this to be chapters, but I decided it was cuter. Aren't I doing a pretty good job of keeping Nuriko genderless? There's a missing lemon scene, due to Fanfiction.net's NC-17 fic ban.  
  
Disclaimer- The closest I am to possessing any of the Fushigi Yuugi characters is a box set my friend bought off a completely legitimate site. But if you find any places on e-bay where they're selling the Seishi, contact me.  
  
Chapter 2- Amidst Collections of Recollections  
  
I sighed. I could not concentrate on the paper work I was supposed to be completing. A slow lead-like feeling was leaking into my heart... like I was going to lose something I did not know I had.  
  
'Or is it I know it but I cannot have it...?'  
  
I had woken up unexpectedly one night, and had hugged Miaka's teddy bear (A/N: I thought Miaka's teddy bear was Tamahome!) for comfort and reassurance. It provided warmth, but not the warmth Miaka radiated towards Tamahome... the teddy bear wasn't warm like human warmth.  
  
'Not nearly as loving as Nuriko.'  
  
I gave up trying to concentrate and sat back and listened to the sudden rain. Making up my mind, I unexpectedly stood up. I had decided I wanted to have a wife by the time everyone had come back so I could prove to Nuriko I intended to keep my word and appease my superiors at the same time. I paced restlessly, and finally made my way to Nuriko's room. It was decorated femininely, with no hint of Nuriko's true gender. Another problem... My relationship with Nuriko always made the palace officials nervous since Nuriko was still officially included in my "Inner Seraglio" and expressed feelings of attracted nature and possibly love towards me, even after coming out into the open about being a male. I needed an heir to the throne, not a casual lover. I had vowed to love the Suzaku no Miko, and would remain with her and love her forever. A ribbon Nuriko had stole from my dressing table fluttered off the night stand.  
  
'Silent omens make silent memories...'  
  
~  
  
The sensation of my skin gliding over Nuriko's shivering cold body gave me a certain dark pleasure. It is not that I was simply using Nuriko as a relationship to carry out in the spare bed on the balcony, since perhaps I truly did enjoy the smell of Nuriko's hair, the smell of Nuriko's clothes, and sounds of the precious gasps Nuriko made. Serene obscenity...  
  
Months later,  
  
"Your Highness!" echoed through the halls. The only person who ever dared to disturb me praying to Suzaku for Miaka's safety was Nuriko, so I smiled but did not bother turning around. "Hey Your Highness!!! Lunch is served!" I could tell Nuriko was in a female state of mind, so I did not think much of when a small and perfect hand slipped into mine. Abruptly, Nuriko stopped walking. Nuriko was just standing there watching me, with an expecting look as though waiting for me to say something.  
  
"Yes? What is it, Nuriko?" I asked hesitantly. If this was going to be another love confession...  
  
"Nothing. If we don't hurry up, lunch is going to get cold!" Nuriko's cheerful voice had returned and I found myself being dragged down the hall while pondering the questioning and expectant look on Nuriko's face.  
  
Two evenings later, I was sitting in my library pouring over books gathered from all across the land in hopes of containing clues to make Miaka's journey to summoning Suzaku easier. The candle was burning low, and my eyes were slowly blurring while the chilly air numbed my body. There was a knock at the door, and an angelic someone draped a blanket around me.  
  
"You shouldn't let the candle burn so low like that. Let me get another one for you..." Nuriko leaned over me to reach the candle, but in my haste to move the books away from the flame I accidentally off-balanced Nuriko. Nuriko collapsed onto me, causing the chair to tip over and spill it's contents onto the floor. If I had not been more aware, I could have sworn time stopped. Gazing into the eyes of the one that holds the most love for you when the love is forbidden can be a painful thing, and it is very hard to restrain yourself when a warm body is nearly melting into your own. I did not feel cold anymore, nor did I feel weary. I pushed Nuriko off myself and without thinking, I almost put a loving hand up to touch the face that shone with happiness when I was near.  
  
'NO!...'  
  
I violently stood up.  
  
"I understand, Hotohori-sama. You want to protect her. That's all right. That's all right with me. I- I'll leave you alone to read now..." Nuriko turned to leave, and too busy to stop picking up the books that had fallen over, I did nothing to stop the departure.  
  
It was two nights before the departure for the Shentso-Pao search was to be made. Nuriko was energetically overseeing the packing for the trip, ignoring the fact it was two in the morning and the palace was deserted for everyone was sleeping. A hop, a skip, and a jump later, a beaming little angel took my arm in theirs.  
  
"Tonight kinda reminds me of our first night, eh Hotohori-sama?" I froze, then slowly relaxed after making sure no one was around to overhear.  
  
"Yes, I suppose so. But what makes you really think that?" I answered. There was no need to get overly sentimental when it came to moments like this, so did not bother to give my voice much expression. Nuriko sighed patiently.  
  
"Never mind. I was going to say it was because you and I were alone together, and you weren't too occupied to pay attention to me for once. But I guess you're not really that interested..." Nuriko trailed off.  
  
"Well, there are memories."  
  
"Memories?! Still that's all?!?"  
  
"I beg you to lower your voice Nuriko, the guards could hear."  
  
"Let them hear! I want everyone to hear! I'm a female! I'm YOUR female!"  
  
"Memories?" I hissed harshly, losing my calm and regal facade. "I'll give you memories!" I heard Nuriko gasp in surprise as I pulled unrelentingly in the direction of my private bedchambers. I threw open the doors and nearly flung Nuriko into the room. I shut the doors with a bang, and proceeded to remove as much dignity as I have ever possessed by throwing my clothes off and leaping on top of Nuriko in an unrestrained manner. Nuriko let our a sharp whimper as my tongue trailed down and around the nipples of the lovely person under me, and then further down, and further, until...  
  
"Ho...Hotoh...ori-samAH... your... tongue... is so... mmmmm... cOLD... ah..." Nuriko writhed in pleasure beneath me, and I steadily felt myself rising to the occasion.  
  
~  
  


* * *

  
A pang of iced rejection slithered through Nuriko's heart as Miaka tended the wounds endured from the enounter with that Seiryuu warrior. Faded glories...  
  
'I even became his lover, more than once! And he still won't acknowledge me as anything close to Miaka...'  
  
Nuriko knew it was pointless to even try to be angry with Miaka, since it wasn't her fault Hotohori had devoted himself to only her. And besides, Nuriko wasn't even sure what feelings to harbor for Miaka either. It wasn't jealousy, as much as Nuriko hated to admit it. It almost the opposite, in fact.  
  
'Is it...? No... it couldn't be... could it?'  
  
Nuriko smiled despite the uncertainty. Hotohori was missed more than anything on journey's like this, but it still felt good to be out in the fresh air to think over things in private.  
  
A tense situtation between Miaka and Tamahome followed, so Nuriko insisted Miaka stayed behind while a talk with Tamahome was in order. The next day, it felt like a weight had been lifted of Nuriko's chest after telling Tamahome about the sudden feelings for Miaka and explaining about friendships that had come into play. Heading out alone towards the Black Mountain to find the Shentso-Pao, Nuriko rememebered the dream-like love making that had taken place shortly before the Genbu departure... for what Nuriko did not know was the last time.  
  
~  
  
*missing lemon scene*  
  
~  
  
Tragedy befalls...  
  
Nuriko felt an excruciating pain on the right side of the abdomen, and sadness begin to tear at the deepest corner of emotions hidden beneath ages of heartening confidence. And at that moment, a terrible icy cold wind chilled the souls of 7 people. A glittering star in the heaven's had just been extinguished- Nuriko was dead.  
  
~  
  
I paused for a moment, as though someone was remembering the same moment I was. But barely less than a minute later, it was a though someone was burrying an icy bade in my heart. I knew not what it was, only that my beloved Miaka was save. My servants were waiting for me to sign official documents, and I could not waste my time on childish musings. But little did I know it was all about to unravel...  
  
****** 


	3. Finishing Rejected Discrepancy’s Death

Author's Note: Does anyone have any idea what houki means? During Sailor Moon, a friend and I picked up it meant broom. Afterwards, I asked my Japanese teacher, and he confirmed it. Can anyone explain why the heck Hotohori married someone who's name means broom? Anyway, please review!!! This is the last chapter for this fic, but I'm wondering if I should try my hand at other Fushigi Yuugi fics... This chapter is going to be short, sweet, and sad.  
  
(To anyone who noticed- my apologies for spelling Miaka's name wrong during the occasional Miaka/Tamahome banter in chapter 1, and the numerous spelling errors I somehow overlooked in the second chapter.)  
  
Chapter 3- Finishing Rejected Discrepancy's Death  
  
It had been weeks since any sign of the other six Seishi and the Suzaku no Miko had been heard of, and this greatly distressed the Emperor. He stared at the flecks of light meandering on and off of his gorgeous hair, silently pondering the fate of his comrades that weighed heavily on his mind. Fleeting aspirations... Houki had been gliding in and out of the Emperor's private rooms, in quiet grace and beauty, yet not comforting His Highness by any means. Hotohori had seemingly conducted his recent stately duties as usual, with flawless precision, yet those closely observing him could tell something was wrong.  
  
'What could it be? My heart aches...'  
  
Suzaku could offer no comfort. His advisors felt nothing was amiss and could offer no reassurance. Peptobismal, a horridly pink gift from Miaka's own world of medical technology, could give no release to his anguish. The number of times Hotohori questioned his sanity became nearly countless, leading him to believe his instincts on the matter had been led astray. Sad worries...  
  
'I must keep going. I must fulfill my duties. I must produce an heir. I must eat.'  
  
"Must" had become the word upon which Hotohori based his life upon, and his very soul poked him in the ribs with it whenever it felt he was lacking. He was feeling severely poked at the moment. For the first time in his entire life, Hotohori felt he needed relief from his position, and sought solitude in Nuriko's room. No one could disturb him because only Houki knew of his whereabouts, and he needed a long time to sort out his thoughts. Glimmering images of snow and a dazzling array of purple assaulted Hotohori's exhausted mind as he gradually drifted to sleep. Meanwhile, the golden statue of Suzaku in its shrine was emitting soft sparks of red and gold (A/N: Does that mean the Suzaku Seishi would be in Gryffindor?).  
  
Nuriko smiled. Wondering if the emperor was safe had been a major concern of Nuriko's while Nuriko's soul resided in one of Tai-Itsu-kun's nyan nyan's. Seeing him in all his splendid beauty heartened Nuriko, and made Nuriko feel like although the choice of death was made, Hotohori was remaining seemingly at peace. Hotohori mentally gazed at Nuriko, who was smiling upon someone with the most radiant and happy look of love. Soft snow flakes fell on Nuriko's long eyelashes, and Nuriko's image began to fade away. Hotohori attempted to reach out, but achieved little more than spouting a little frown on his gorgeous sleeping complexion. Nuriko turned back, as if startled, but smiled again and faded completely from view. Simple affections... And there was the last image ingrained in Nuriko's mind before eternally being one of the dead- a love so meaningful smiling in his sleep, unaware of constant admiration.  
  
I felt strange the instant I woke up. It was as though my throat had been set on fire, or maybe my eyes. Was I- was I crying? For whom? The last time I had shed a tear was on my tenth birthday, when I privately grieved that I must wait for more years to see my precious priestess. But something caught my eye before I hastily removed myself from the room- a single snowflake drifted onto Nuriko's pillow, and melted as though a tear from the heavens.  
  
The end. 


End file.
